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NARNIA
Language : British English Major Religion : Thinly-disguised Christianity centered around worship of a huge lion named Aslan Population : 100,000 (not including 500,000 talking beavers, 3,000 talking squirrels, 2,000 talking unicorns, 4,000 marsh wiggles, other talking animals, and 1 really pissed off white witch) Currency : Gold coins GNP : $2,000 (less than 50 cents per person/animal/witch) Selected Crops : Grass, wood, snow Selected Industrial Products : Balsa wood, jet fighter fuel, M-16s Rationale For Targeting : Jeff, in a memo to VanderCorp: "If I, a sarcastic atheist who is going to Hell, can successfully infiltrate my work into a fake publication in the imaginary universe of a devout Christian—why, that would make me a genius." Fun Fact : Don't miss the always fun Great Snow Dance. The dance occurs the first night of snowfall during the winter. Innocent fauns, dryads, and priapads, surrounded by a bizarre set of leering dwarves, prance around in a dance reminiscent at times of the May Day celebrations in The Wicker Man. The lecherous dwarves try to hit the poor little fauns and dryads with their snow balls, often knocking them senseless. Then all the woodland creatures on the outer edge of the celebration scream out, "Anyone who isn't a talking animal is a dead man!" and the slaughter begins. [Note: All country-specific information derives from The Borges/Crowley Guide to Places We Haven't Ever Visited and Some of Which Don't Even Exist Yet, Even Inside An Author's Head, written by Jorge Borges and Aleister Crowley, Volumes I—IV, Dee Publications, 1925.] Flag by Mark Roberts |
Capital : Cair Paravel