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BadLibs For some reason, Jeff has afforded me the dubious honor of selecting passages from his ouvre which might work well as "Bad Libs". When he first contacted me to assist him with his web site (after, I must say, some 21 years without any contact at all), I thought—silly me—that he might wish to borrow some modicum of the knowledge I have accumulated during 24 years as a tenured Professor of Literature at Harvard. I am, in select circles, known for, shall we say, "expertise" in the analysis of early erotic Estruscan hieroglyphic literature. Certainly, during our high school days when he frolicked around campus like some demented, over-sexed Hawaiian-shirt-wearing freak of nature, I believe Jeff looked to me as a veritable giant among intellects, a sort of "expert opinion". It seems now, however, that he would rather involve me in his "freak show" than allow me to continue living in the rarefied air that has become my due. Nevertheless, I have put a brave face on all of this, "soldiered forward" as they say, and performed my duty admirably well, I believe. I think you will agree that it was indeed inspired for my high school classmates to vote me "most likely to succeed" while poor Jeff was voted either "most likely to die from a bizarre flossing accident" or "most likely to stumble over a small piece of concrete and die as a result of frantic gesticulations while falling on his face". Continue to...
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VanderBadLib
VanderBadderLib
VanderBaddestLib