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Mystery Links

I knew Jeff was going to ask to me to do a links section for him - I had a dream about it the night before he asked me. I think I also saw it in the some tea leaves, but I'm not sure about that. Anyway, I could tell that the energy was right for him to ask - our astrological signs were connected at that point so I knew I would get a phone call from him or something. Anyway, so he asked me to do some research and give him some unusual links that people might really enjoy. So I've tried to do that, even though it was kind of difficult because he told me there couldn't be any New Age or Flower Power sites included, which I thought was kind of short-sighted, but since I was high at the time, I said yes anyway. Anyway, so I did it. I hope you enjoy all of these sites - you should, although I suggest you might want to listen to some Enya or something while you go to these sites. Also, anyway, I decided one thing I would do different than Jeff asked was to not label these sites. That way it's kind of a mystery what you're going to! And that's good for your karma, really, to have a mystery trip like that. So, anyway, I'm going to go now - got some incense to make and some incense to burn, as they say, but I hope you enjoy all of this - I enjoyed putting it together. I used a mandala and spun it just like on Wheel of Fortune to decide what to keep and what to leave out. (Did I ever tell you I've been born many times, so I actually belong to many astrological signs?) So, I hope you like it. I really do. Bye now.
- Sungrape Moonfig (some folks just call me "Shelly").

Mystery Link #1: Aries.
This link is intimately connected with Taurus, your soul mate, and through it you will feel the power of dancing with the Earth.

Mystery Link #2: Taurus.
This link is intimately connected with Aries, your soul mate, and through it you will come to understand suffering. But in a good, non-painful way, I'm sure.

Mystery Link #3: Gemini.
Gemini's are generally campy and sometimes drink too much (at least I do, but it hasn't hurt me - peace out!) but if you're a Gemini and maybe you've rolled something and then smoked it, man, this site is far out!

Mystery Link #4: Cancer.
Cancer's like to nest. If you're a cancer, you need to get out more. Maybe changing your name would help, you think? It did wonders for me. I couldn't get a date when I was simple Shelly Beech.

Mystery Link #5: Leo.
Leo, you're like a great big teddy bear or something. So strong and cute and I don't know why you left, Leo. We had a good thing going. Anyway, you're good with languages, except for English, which sucks since that's what most everybody speak, right? So this is something you need, not something you want.

Mystery Link #6: Virgo.
You're a little space monkey, aren't you Virgo? You like everything to do with space - your inner space, outer space. You're the opposite of Cancer. You don't like to nest - you don't want all the clutter. You're likely to like space movies and not just 2001 because it's really cool to see if you're smoking stuff. So try this out, Space Monkey Virgo. And report back to old Space Captain Sungrape Moonfig.

Mystery Link #7: Libra.
Libras believe in ghosts and like to paint their toenails black. Most of the Libras I know couldn't solve a math problem to save their lives. I really don't know what kind of a link you might want, so I'm just throwing something in randomly that doesn't involve equations.

Mystery Link #8: Scorpio.
You've got an attitude and you like to speak as if you're putting quotation marks around everything. Yuck. Who needs that. Not me. Take your link and get out of my face.

Mystery Link #9: Sagittarius.
You will have an awful week. First, that damn Leo will leave you and then you'll find out you have some kind of horrible disease. It doesn't help that you just completed a Liberal Arts degree and can't find a job. Man, your life sucks!

Mystery Link #10: Capricorn.
You'd love to join a rock band, but first you need to learn how to play an instrument. And that's pretty much the problem with Capricorns - they always want to do something without having to do anything. Maybe you just need some inspiration. How about a website for a band where nothing in the website makes any sense and it's really annoying to navigate through the pages? Maybe that'll help.

Mystery Link #11: Aquarius.
You love humor. You laughed at Richard Pryor as hard as you laughed at Billy Connelly and Chris Rock. It's funny you laugh so much, seeing as how it looks like, from the signs, that your Aquarius boyfriend is going to dump you for an Aries. You never should have gone out with him anyway - even if he did say he'd shave his back hair for you (did you really believe him?).

Mystery Link #12: Pisces.
Why'd you have to steal the car, Pisces? Just because it was idling in front of you with the keys in the ignition didn't mean you had to go and steal it? At least, I'm assuming you're a Pisces, because only a Pisces would do such a mean and stupid thing. I liked that car a lot. Here - have a website, you freak.