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Frequently Asked VanderQuestions

Please review the questions and answers below before querying the author, but if the
answer isn't below, please feel free to email Jeff at  vanderworld@hotmail.com.

Are you yet another overweight white male writer with glasses and a beard?
Yes, I am. I'm very sorry about this aspect of unoriginality in my writing. I am working very hard to change this—and you'll see I am making progress. Here are photos of me six months ago (left) and today (right).

We've read your magazine review column in Zene and we think you're really mean.
I am really mean. How do you think writers get ahead? It's a very tough world out there and in order to keep writing I have to be very mean.

Is it true you are suing Stephen King?
I think the article set out below will answer any questions related to this subject:


AP WIRE: THE AUTHOR, Stephen King of Maine, has become an icon among horror readers. Movies based on King's books have grossed more than $1,000,000,000.00 worldwide.

But Jeff VanderMeer of Tallahassee, Florida, argues in his upcoming federal lawsuit that ideas for the series of King novels set in Maine were lifted from his 1989 book The Book of Frog, which includes characters named "Bangor" and "Main".

"I think coincidences happen, but I still say if it looks like a frog and acts like a frog, it's a frog," said VanderMeer, who also claims he owns the trademark to the words "is", "the", and "turkeyhead", all of which are used in King's books.

In VanderMeer's book, "frogs" are amphibians routinely run over by cars or vans, or are the source of magical transformations. In King's books, "frog" is the word used to describe magical transformations of frogs into roadkill. VanderMeer's book has a character named Weston Smith; King's books contain many references to "Smith-and-Wesson". The VanderMeer book has characters identified as "Keepers of the Frogs"; King's books have a "Keeper of the Toads."

VanderMeer's claims are "completely meritless," said Judy Corman, a spokeswoman for Time-Warner-Sony-Harcourt-Brace-Yahoo-Amoco, Inc.

"Unfortunately, success often leads to frivolous claims, and we're confident the court will find in our favor," Corman said. "I mean, VanderMeer's stories aren't even any good. He's never even written a script about trucks that become intelligent and try to kill their drivers."

After its publication in 1989, VanderMeer's book was sold mostly on the East side of Gainesville, Florida, in a tiny corner of the Goering's bookstore, and two copies were accidentally distributed when the author left them in a Rite Aid drugstore. VanderMeer believes King may have come across the book when Rite Aid sent back a shipment of condoms, which mistakenly made their way to New York, along with VanderMeer's book (although VanderMeer's claim is only substantiated by a brightly-colored chart he himself made). King may have come across it when he was part of a love-in in Utica, New York, in 1990.


Why aren't you better known? We don't mean to be unkind but before we came to this website, we had no idea you existed. In fact, the only VanderMeer we'd ever heard of before was Johnny Vandermeer, the baseball star who pitched back-to-back no-hitters back in the Middle Ages.
That's a good question. But the fact is that I work very hard to be obscure so I can concentrate on my writing without media types always calling or coming around to the house. It takes a lot of energy to be as talented as I am and yet remain obscure, let me tell you. I work on it every day - deliberately ignoring requests for interviews, almost never submitting to anthology invitations, and sending threatening letters for no reason to anyone who admits to liking my work. Sometimes it seems like a losing battle, but so far I've been pretty successful.

Is it true that your first fiction collection was called The Book of Frog? If this is true, why would you do something so silly?
My first fiction collection was called The Book of Frog—in fact, unless something has changed while I blinked, it is still called The Book of Frog. (This is not as silly as it sounds—one collection of mine started life as "Learning to Leave the Flesh," transformed into "The Bone-Carver's Tale & Other Stories" while I wasn't looking, and eventually appeared as "The Book of Lost Places".) The Book of Frog was written in high school as a result of a creative writing class. The teacher wanted us to write vignettes on character, plot, etc. So I decided to tie them together by placing a frog in each one of them. Little did I know this would spawn about 20 stories featuring frogs or toads, some of which I self-published in my Book of Frog collection. It also established the tradition of people giving me frogs as gifts, which has continued to this day. I currently have in my possession over 150 ceramic, metal, wooden, and plastic frogs of varying shapes, sizes, and value. The hilarious thing is that copies of The Book of Frog now sell for upwards of $50 or $60, despite having an original retail price of $3.50.

Why do you call this site the "official" VanderMeer website? We haven't been able to find any "unofficial" websites.
That's a very good question. I'll get back to you on that one.

Where else on the Internet can I read your work?
Mostly on Keith Brooke's excellent Infinity Plus site. The URL is in the links section. Yes, I know that if I'd put the URL here too you wouldn't have to click your mouse a few more times to get there. So what? I told you I was mean.

You do know that no one ever asks these kinds of questions, right? That this whole frequently-asked-questions page has been devoted to questions no one will ever want the answer to?
Yes, I do. It all has to do with being mean and wanting to stay obscure. No one ever asks me any questions, to be honest. I never get any fan mail, either. And I'm not really certain anyone out there has read my work. I once got a letter in the mail addressed to "Johnny Vandermeer" and I was so desperate for a fan letter that I opened it up and sucked out its essence like it was an oyster. Then I sat there in the dark of my room in the basement of the abandoned used car lot and cried my eyes out...However, on the off chance people want real answers, I suggest they go to the VanderFamily section of this website (link not included here...).